Under Where?

I work in some dangerous space between the corporate and non profit world, privy every day to the their interdependence. I've been giving it A LOT of thought, which is probably why i haven't written in my blog -or anywhere else for that matter - in a long long time. I was thinking of finally putting key stroke to screen about it, but someone asked me to write about lingerie and clothes, so I'm going to do that instead.


my cardinal rules about dressing yourself apply also to underthings, or as my Nannie Dietz used to call them once she mastered a modicum of English " foundation garments".

1. If you're uncomfortable you look terrible
2. Never wear synthetic materials; they are unflattering, environmentally unsound, highly flammable, and if you claim to be dry-cleaning them as much as you ought to, my guess is you're lying.
3. Avoid mitigated "muddied colors" that look like a bunch of cheap paint pots were mixed together...they were! This includes many tones of beige, maroon, or blue - especially when it comes to shoes. You don't want your clothes to look like the paint job on a Chevy Impala.
4. At the end of the day it's not the what but the how. Your posture, movement and gaze will always be the ultimate deciding factor in whether you can carry off anything, clothes and capers included.

Here are some additional points that are pan-applicable, but of particular note when it comes to lingerie.

1. Everything must fit well. anything you wear should look as if it was made for you. cut and size are equally important. Want to know if something fits you well? - check how many times you touch or adjust it the next time you wear it. If you have to touch your clothes, they don't fit.

2. It is incredibly rare to ever look good while showing your underthings. bra straps, thongs, panty lines, anything! Err on the side of caution when dressing, since you are far more likely to reveal a peek when you are in motion. Just because everything looks in place in the full length mirror with you stomach sucked in standing on your tippy toes, does not mean it will stay this way when you are running for the subway or hunting for the earring you dropped. When in doubt, wear a strapless bra.

3. Invest in quality and take good care of it. Quality makes a huge difference in the fit and longevity of any lingerie. Get nice things and hand wash them with delicate, allergen-free detergent. This doesn't take as much time as you think. Avoid anything sold in a lot. If it says "5 pack" or "buy three and get a fourth for free" you don't want it.

Since i think that the manufactured idea of "sexy" in only loosely based on human instinct, here are some things that I would avoid all together, regardless of popular opinion:

NOT sexy when it comes to lingerie:

Padded bras
Anything remotely athletic (when not participating in athletics)
Waist bands on knickers
Cheap lacy bits and bobs, including, but not limited to, feathers
Merry widows and corsets, especially if you're pudgy
Fishnet stockings
Bras or knickers with multiple straps
Anything holiday themed (think hearts or reindeer)
Most patterns
Anything that you can neither sleep in nor wear under your clothes (think floor-length sheer robe, most teddies, body suits etc)
Anything with words on in (think "you can't touch this" boyshorts)
cheap cotton that pills (think sad old cotton underpants)
pajamas (yes, even with stripes)
control-top anything
Pretty much anything red, unless you're in a Warrant video

Now here are things that definitely are sexy, this list is interchangeable with a must-have list for lingerie.

Sheer, unlined, unpadded, demi-cup bras, especially nude and black.
Sheer on sheer patterning
navy and white stripes
well cut low-rise thongs and boy shorts that are comfortable and on pain of death, don't cut into your hips.
eyelet lace anything,especially white and pale yellow
a nice set of garter belts both sexy and functional
silk camisoles and full-dress slips
silk shorts (for sleeping or keeping you cool under a skirt of dress)
cotton nighties (think thin straps, feminine print, eyelet lace, and short)
silk nightgown (undecorated, knee-length)
fishnet knee-highs
string-bikini style cotton knickers (these tie on the sides with a silk ribbon)
heather grey for any athletic - style necessities.
good un-lined strapless bra in both nude and black (consider this a serious investment)


As for the recurring question of mixing and matching, this is where i stand. While matching sets are nice, the most important thing is that the cut and shape are flattering for any given outfit. Soemtimes this means breaking up the set for the best outward results. go for it! if you tend towards similar colors and matierials, there's always something to match more or less.

I know it's difficult to navigate - we all have that "lovely" bra in our closet with the heavy emboidered overlay that we never wear because it makes everything look lumpy. But as with any fashion, think quality and timeless good taste over most trends. Also i would implore you to go home and toss out immediately anything stretched, worn, stained, or with the underwire poking out. you'll never wear it again anyway.